The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/28/16
Your poem has an important lesson for us all to heed.

A poem that starts with the 'tick-tock' of a clock would be more effective if the meter was very regular, like the meter of a ticking clock. Your meter is bumpier than that, and I think it lessens the impact.

You did a good job of coming up with many parts of life that are affected by our sense of time.
Thank you fr your input. I sent you a message to clarify something.
Thank you for your input. I sent you a message to clarify something.
This is a an emotional piece. I'm not big on poetry, being tone-deaf, I struggle to hear rhythm so won't speak to that. Time does go by so fast. I really liked the ending. It struck a special note in my heart.
Yes, time goes on and we must choose to fill the time with good. It is a race against the clock which we cannot reset.

Even though the lines were of different length I like the rhyming words. Good work or should I say, "Good write".
10/31/16
You did a great job staying on topic with these eighteen couplets. I loved the last one. It was a great ending for your poem, but it's also a good reminder that the world is not going to stop when we die.