The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 294 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
10/28/16
I enjoyed reading the different ministries of your week, tied together with the device of your day planner.

The meter of your poetry needs some work; it's inconsistent, leaving your reader with the feeling of having been on a bumpy ride.

This has a very sweet tone and an authentic voice.
This is really sweet. I liked you you used the topic to share the many ways you service God, the community and, lastly, yourself.

I noticed a few little things like Bible study should start with a capital B, it should be fuddy duddies (the plural not the possessive), and caregiver is one word. Those are little things though.

Overall, I think you have a great message wrapped up in this sweet poem. It left me with a warm feeling in my heart.
Your rhyme and rhythm make your verse easy to read and you make a good point. Our life should be one of growing and doing since God is never through with us.

Nicely written and I would think it took no little time to collect those words to rhyme.
10/31/16
I enjoyed your poem, but your last stanza elevated it to a whole other level for me. With all the ministry obligations the narrator had during the week, he designated the last day to minister to his own wife. Ending it that way gave it a much deeper impact and food for thought. You might consider continuing to tweak the rhythm to help it flow a bit smoother. Itll preach even better then. Great job!
John, Congratulations on your 3rd place win in beginners category.

I liked how your poem used the day planner. It was so nice to hear hoe you chersh spending time with your wife.

There is a very good link on Faithwriters regarding rhyming.Although your ending words rhyme, the count of each word in the line needs to have a specific count as well.

Great message!