The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/04/16
Interesting story. Somehow things shifted and left me momentarily confused. He stayed behind and all of a sudden you're approaching the subway, Maybe it's just me, but I needed to take a second look to follow along.
08/06/16
I was confused also at your abrupt scene changes. The first for me was "the lesson". I had to reread the first couple of sentences to see the "class" reference. I liked the pace and flow of your story- you just need work on seamlessly transitioning from one scene to another. Keep writing