The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/03/16
Heartbreaking and inspiring. I thought it was well written.
Thank you for sharing this heart-wrenching experience with us. I am glad that you are clinging to hope in Christ.
I could barely finish this piece for the tears streaming down my face. It never ceases to amaze me how God directs me exactly to where I need to be. I've been in a horrible funk lately, and although I'd like to say I'd never kill myself, I've no doubt Satan has been torturing me this last week, telling me I'm finished and worthless. Yet, even before I started feeling funky, Jesus prompted you to write this story so I could read it right now. Thank you for your obedience and know you made a difference in my heart tonight. And I'm sure I'm not alone.

As for red ink, I think you might be surprised to see how many times you started a sentence with the word And. Try mixing up your sentence structure some.

In the forums this week, in Jan's Writing Basics, she did a lesson about flashbacks. I think your second paragraph would make for a perfect flashback, allowing you to show the reader instead of just tell. For example: The day he talked me into signing up for the race flits through my mind. As soon as the sun peeked over the horizon, my husband Dean nudged me with his elbow. "Hurry up. Today is sign-up day!" He wiggled his eyebrows as a grin spread across his face. Bending over, he scooped up my sweats and tossed them on my lap. "C'mon, you can do it. You don't want to risk it selling out. It'll be so much fun!"

That's a really quick example to show you what I mean. It makes the moment more real not only for the reader but for the MC as well. I'm not sure if this is based on a true story (if so, I'm so sorry for your loss), but if it is, adding little details like that make it creative nonfiction and is a great tactic to pull the reader in by using body language, dialog, and thoughts.

I think you did a nice job of writing on topic. You covered finish in a few ways, and you delivered a powerful message while doing so. Like I said, this has helped pull me out of my funk, and no matter how it places, know that in this moment, you and the Holy Spirit soothed my aching heart. God bless.
06/10/16
Congratulations, Maribeth, on finishing 1st place in the Beginners category.

I am so sorry your husband died from suicide. My friend also committed suicide when she was depressed.

I am glad you are continuing to run the race. I think it may be the perfect tribute to him.
06/10/16
Congratulations, Maribeth, on your 3rd place EC award. It is quite an honor to place in the top ten. I look forward to reading more of your writing.
Congratulations on your EC. You touched many people with your words.
Congratulations,Maribeth, on placing with this touching story that exudes authenticity.
06/23/16
Oh dear...I can't find words to express my horror at your experience and awe at your courage.

Very well written. I think we learn the most when we go through situations that we don't understand. It really increases our faith in God.
07/06/16
Congratulations on winning the quarterly contest. It was a heartbreaking story but an inspiring reminder of how God is working through you in this life's race.

This is also a tribute to your husband whose spirit still lives on in you.
Maribeth - What a gut-wrenching and heart breaking story. This emotional story brought me to tears.

I sense God working in your life through such pain and sorrow.

I will pray that God touches not only you but others around you with the love you have to share.

This will certainly help countless others through your courageous words of hope.

When you are running the iron man, I hope your heart and mind can stir up the beautiful memories your husband and you shared together. Such heartfelt love.

Congratulations on winning the quarterly contest.

07/24/16
Congratulations on receiving 1st place. It is well deserved. Your words captured so many emotions, and I applaud you because sometimes it is hard to transfer those feelings into words. Your story is honest and full of determination and hope that can only come from knowing God.
08/13/16
A very touching read. Liked how you brought the Bible into it and anchored yourself on what God says, making that your mantra. This was pieced together well - so well done.
08/25/16
What a gripping testimony. I am learning that in the writing world you must become vulnerable, exposing your deepest cuts to the world. We put it out there for others to relate to, because in this world we all are faced with insurmountable odds and unfathomable circumstances. My prayers go out to you as you put it out there for the world. Run the race with all your heart and know that you aren't alone. God Bless you.
08/29/16
Excellent writing. Crushing story.