Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: COMPUTER (05/19/16)
- TITLE: Satan Saves Occasionally
By Art Westefeld
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Now to automate Gehenna's lists I have finally gotten a computer of my own. It has 256 GB of RAM, a full color monitor, so I can better enjoy their sins in real time, two word processing apps, and other fun little items so I can update my lists and do PowerPoint slides regularly, and expandable memory slots. I can now keep more efficient track of the world's sinners, so I can better accuse them before God. It helps that a majority of the world's population doesn't accept me or Jesus as real, so I have that advantage over Christ. Happy me! I love social media and the liberals who refuse to accept the fact that Hell is real and so are Jesus and me. Thanks to all the evilness for that failure of non-Christians, and the failure of Christians for not getting their message out via social media.
There is one problem and that is the so called 'good’ Son of God won't let me have any access to His databases so I can keep up with who has asked Him into their lives. It is getting to be so many that even with a staff of demons keeping lists, what with constant prayers for revival, (I hate that!) I can't keep up. I tried, only yesterday, to accuse a man who had enjoyed teen porn on Earth, when he stood before the LORD. But I found out my list, and new PowerPoint, was irrelevant when that annoying Jesus showed his Dad, with His Power-in-the-Blood-point, that my potential victim had recently accepted Him as Savior. Thus saving him from Gehenna and my service after the thousand year period post tribulation. GRRRRR!!
I have tried cyber-warfare on Christ's computers. After all, where do you think a majority of hackers go when they expire. No luck. Regrettably, His heavenly (fire?)walls were unbeatable by my hackers. It’s because all of my computers are running Windows eight and He has the latest version of Windows before Microsoft even releases it. That is the problem with an Adversary that knows everything. Even before it happens. Not fair is it?
All I asked for is the list of humans who accepted Christ as Savior daily. They update the Lamb's Book of Life in real time, so is my request too much to ask? I mean, God is just so unfair and His Son is even worse. I know I sound like a pouty whiny teen-aged girl, but just who do you think taught them that trick?
If I can't update my lists on a regular, or even only daily basis, why should the punchline of anyone's joke be: Satan Saves? Instead of Jesus Saves.
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