The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Lovely sentiments and story.

It was a good reminder of Biblical truth but for me it was a stretch to connect it to the challenge word for the week.
I like your intro with Abram and his wonder at the promise, but you had more room to develop your link with him and with us as part of the promise. I also found it hard to link with the topic, but I'm sure that you will find entries from many other members at higher levels that are further off-topic than this one.
God bless you, and keep write on!
I think you did a nice job of starting off this piece. It drew me in. I liked how you told it from Abraham's POV. If you put thoughts in italics, it will help it stand out more. I think you could have shown your message nicely by staying in Abraham's voice. The sudden switch felt a bit jarring to me. On the message boards in Jan's Writing Basics she did a lesson this week on that exact topic. I think your message is a good one and you did touch on the topic a little bit. Keep reading and writing. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Loved the story. I especially like the picture that the introduction painted- showing rather than telling.
God blesses those who follow Him; just like He blessed Abraham and Sarah. I liked your narrative, but thought you had room to expand your thoughts. Beyond mentioning the direction north, I didn't think you really mentioned this week's topic.