The Official Writing Challenge
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04/14/16
This poem raises many good points about loneliness. My favorite line was: I see you with people, but you're still all alone. Maybe since I deal with weight issues, I didn't totally agree with the line: Maybe you'd be happy and lose that weight.
04/14/16
I think your poem is interesting and uses the topic well. Thank you sharing.
04/14/16
Interesting approach to the topic, well done.

Blessings~
04/14/16
I took this as a form of poetry, a song perhaps, but myself often being accused of writing from a different room, I liked this. I enjoyed the energy. I always like repetition. I think the only thing here, structurally that got you was trying to stretch it to the word count. But I like what I read, the rhythm/cadence of the lines. Very good. I'll be interested to see who wrote this so I can read some more. Good work.
If we are a loner, we shouldn't be grumpy or sad or envious of those in a crowd.
God has made us the way we are for a purpose.Also if we are in a crowd, we should not let this go to our head.God made us a certain way and we should live where he wants us to live but live the way he wants us to live.

I like to see a poem or two here. Writing is a gift but writing poetry is a double gift.
Interesting take on the topic.

It was so sad that the lady chose loneliness over the happiness Christ could give her.

it might have been interesting if you had started the poem of the lady's loneliness without Christ at the beginning and the joy she received after she met Christ.

I liked the repetitive stanzas.
04/18/16
I'm not a big poetry fan, but I enjoyed this one. I understood each line and found it fun to read. Of course, it had a good message too. It maybe did go a little long- but, hey, if you got me to read a poem all the way to the end, you've done well (by my standards anyway).
I love this. I have tears in my eyes and wonder if you wrote this after somehow infiltrating my brain. I often feel lonely and do need to work on knowing my gifts are special.

The main red ink I'd offer is watch where you put your apostrophes. In these cases, it goes where the missing letter is: doin' and mopin'. I figure some of the shortening is for rhythm. (I can't hear it myself) If possible though, try not to overdo the accent because it can make it too hard to read sometimes. Also be consistent. If you write doin without apostrophes, do it every time. Some spots you have it, others you don't, and sometimes it's in different places.

I think you did a great job of writing on topic. Poetry isn't my favorite genre, yet you pulled me in and spoke to my heart.
04/21/16
Congratulations, Kathleen, on winning 2nd place in the Beginners category. I enjoyed the repetition and story you told within the poem.
04/21/16
Congrats~

Blessings~
04/21/16
Congrats! I told you this was good. I'll be watching for more.