The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/04/16
This piece really told a story before the reader's eyes. I was with the MC the entire duration of your entry.

Good introspective piece.

Well done...

Blessings~
03/05/16
It is difficult to lose weight because you can't just stop eating. I identified with the MC and the fear he felt. I'm glad you related the weight problem with some of the relational problems in the marriage.
03/06/16
Great dialogue! The reader is really drawn into the setting, and feels the emotions of the characters. I did wonder why it was necessary to have the MC return to the store after he had already shopped for what his wife needed. Overall good writing...
Congratulations on ranking 6th in your level. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.
Sometimes it takes "a situation" to make us see "the situation".

Now let us read the rest of the story.