The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/26/16
I liked this. Good use of dialogue. Nice insight.
03/02/16
Nicely written story.
I like what you did with the topic. It was an interesting take on it. I also liked comparing it to how God handles all our prayers. We can't even comprehend all that he does for us.

I noticed you started in present tense, but slipped into the past tense sometimes. It's easy to do. I'd urge you to read your story aloud, that will hopefully help you catch things like that. Also, try to stay away from things like she quips. If you feel you need a taglines, stick to the traditional he said or she asked. You are doing a nice job of using narrative lines to show who is speaking.

I liked your message. It made me smile and stop and think. It was a refreshing read.
03/03/16
Congratulations, Sherry, on your highly commended piece in the beginners category. You have a great gift for writing.