The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/18/16
Beautiful, uplifting, and so inspiring...a true witness to the joy and reward of God's love and purpose in our lives...

Excellent!

Blessings~
02/18/16
I am glad God provided you victory in the middle of your unemployment trials.

I did notice several punctuation errors, but they did not distract from your storytelling ability.
02/19/16
Very encouraging piece. Yes a few punctuation errors but the message rang through. If you had added a little more show rather than tell it would have placed me right there as opposed to reading your wonderful story.
02/19/16
The emotion in this piece shines through. Your message is clear.
Your message was uplifting and inspiring. A wonderful example of how God will provide all our needs.
02/19/16
It's great how God helps to shift our perspective and reminds us of who He is. It's times like these that cause me to have more sympathy for the Israelites wavy relationship with God. A great take on the topic. I liked the story you started with and the points you made were good. I would have liked it even more if your final statements were more story form to kind of bring it back to where it started but they may just be my personal preference.

A couple of spelling errors in the third last paragraph. Those tricky kind where misspelling a word creates a different word: "they matched on" and "young men stubble and fall". The latter amused me. :)
02/20/16
Your "writer's voice" shines through in this true story of hope and perseverance. I only spotted one misplaced word in the phrase, "they matched on even with pain", I'm sure you meant marched. Watch punctuation too....
02/25/16
Congratulations, Philip, on your well deserved placing in the Beginner's Category.