The Official Writing Challenge
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11/26/15
Awww! What a beautifully written story, it touched my heart.

God bless~
11/27/15
Good work. The homeless and the strangers need someone to show the world their true value in the eyes of Christ. He shared their experience. We need to open our eyes too - and not change the channel when they come on our 'screen'.
11/28/15
It is sad to think of how many homeless people there are in the United States and around the world. Homelessness is a very complex problem because many people either are mentally ill or unable to make it in the real world.

Your story was well done, but would be even more interesting with more showing and less telling. The reader likes to make up his or her own mind about what the MC is feeling.
Very compelling illustration of " there,but for the grace of God go I ". Kudos!
I think it's important to tell stories like this because it's so easy to forget that there are homeless people out there. You did a lot of telling. Once you switched to the showing, you really pulled me in. I might have started with the Aunt watching TV and then add the other details (although you also need to make sure you don't have POV shifts by going into two characters' minds). You don't need to tell the back story right off but can sprinkle it throughout the entire story. I liked your ending. Many would have been tempted to have the Aunt see her and come save her. Your ending was touching and felt real.
Congratulations, my friend, I am so happy to see this place. Happy Dance!
12/04/15
Ingrid - Congratulations. It's good to see you place. I loved this. I agree with Shann, your ending was touching - and very real. I definitely would have been tempted to have the aunt recognize her - and rescue her. This is much better.