The Official Writing Challenge
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11/19/15
This was a lovely story. Your love for your mother shines through your words.
11/20/15
What a sweet, touching story. I trust your mom will soon come to trust the Lord. Yes, I am praying!

You need to tighten up your writing (I still have a LONG way to go on this!)

In the first paragraph, here is an example of what I'm talking about -

"A small, grey-haired and almost toothless lady lay on her bed...She managed to get up, open the window wide, and smiled at me, 'Let me have a good look at you...'"

Keep those Challenge entries coming. It has taken me a long time to follow this advise!

God bless!
11/23/15
This was a tender story but some of the language seems a little off, not sure exactly the word. And I thought when you used the word "kid" it was not in keeping with the rest of the language.
11/23/15
Quite lovely. Try to avoid passive verbs. 'was pounding' is passive, 'pounded' is stronger. Good job!
11/23/15
Your entry is lovely to read and quite touching.

The advice you have been given already I agree with. Keep writing.

The challenges will help you and don't forget the lessons in the forums.