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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: REDUCE (11/05/15)
A Pile Of Rubble

I was introduced to Mephibosheh, who I call “old man Meph.” I met him in Lo Debar: it means no pasture. It was a place of darkness, isolation, and despair. The people who lived in Lo Debar lived a life of degradation, and they were considered the forgotten ones. They had no hope, their identity had been lost, and they were prisoners of their own mind. The enemy-Satan-ruled that neighborhood.
2 Samuel 9

Through Meph’s story I gained insight into my own life as I was drowning in despair and economic disparity. This was a time that I didn’t truly have a good understanding of who God was. I thought He was a mean God because I was doing all that He required of me as a Christian, and He was ignoring my prayers. I wasn’t getting anywhere. The more I asked for help, the worse things seemed to get. It felt like all I ever encountered were pain, obstacles, and disappointment. I felt abandoned by Him, and I was very, very hurt and angry. My belief in God was wavering due to the overwhelming amount of pain that had taken up residence in my heart, giving way to fear and doubt. I felt that God wanted me to be perfect before He would respond and open His hands toward me; to me that was unfair and unrealistic. That is why I felt He wasn’t going to help me.

I operated from a place of pain, which distorted my perception, and affected my thoughts. Without realizing it, I was acting in disbelief, and I can’t receive if I don’t believe He’ll do it for me.
Mark 11: 24 “Therefore I tell you whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
There in lay the problem: A distorted perception screwed up my reasoning therefore, I suffered more because I believed the lies of the enemy instead of what was indeed the actuality of the situation. James 1:8 “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” Unbelief undermines Faith and will keep you from receiving what God wants to give you. God is not moved by Emotions; He’s moved by Faith.

The Lord had heard my cry, and He was trying to answer me but I couldn’t hear Him because my emotions were in the way. He brought me to a junction in which I had no other choice but to stop and listen. He needed to shock me in to seeing things from another perspective—His perspective.
I suffered a series of losses, and I was at my wit’s end. Discouraged, overwhelmed, and despondent, I watched my life spiral down life’s cruel and treacherous highway, dropping me in the middle of nowhere. I struggled to understand how I ended up in such a mess, but to no avail answers eluded me. I fought endlessly to stay on track, but to my dismay nothing that I did made any significant difference.

When I thought I had reached the end of my rope, a vortex came out of no where, swallowed me whole and spat me out like a pile of shredded rubble. As I gasped in disbelief, still reeling from the vortex, it became suddenly clear to me that something was dreadfully wrong. I needed to re-analyze my situation. It’s like the Lord was screaming at me to get a grip and listen to Him.

This was a defining moment for me I had to quickly respond and make a choice; do I yield to my soul and accept defeat, or do I continue to fight the good fight of faith by yielding to the Spirit?
This decision was critical because it was going to greatly impact my life and bring about significant changes. Yielding to my soul meant things would remain the same—no change. Yielding to the Spirit meant change and gaining the right perceptive: trusting God to do His thing so He can raise me from the rubble and establish me once again in His timing. Indeed I took the time to consider what was before me and I began to clearly see that I had given fear the authority to rule my life. I was disgusted with the realization, and immediately I made the decision to trust God no matter what. In that moment a sweet presence of peace rested on me: I escaped LoDebar through Faith.
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This article has been read 508 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Yvonne Blake 
11/18/15
This is interesting. With the introduction to Mephibosheth, I was expecting some kind of storyline. (I still think it could be part of longer story.)
Keep writing.
Donna Powers
11/18/15
This was interesting, and I enjoyed reading it. Nice work!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
11/19/15
Congratulations on ranking 8th in level one. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
11/20/15
Wow, your courage in this piece really shines through. By sharing your intimate thoughts, you've given the reader hope. I totally related to your MC. I know it couldn't have been easy to share those emotions; yet if not for your courage, the Holy Spirit wouldn't have been able to use your story to glorify him.

I noticed some tiny things I want to point out. You tend to use a lot of adjectives and adverbs. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that, but if you can balance them with verbs that pop, your story will pop more too . For example, see how these two lines change your mental picture. I was very, very hurt and angry.
My feelings of abandonment angered and tormented me.
Both sentences mean pretty much the same thing, but for me the latter pops more. I switched hurt with tormented, but I also switched it from a passive sentence to an active one. Sometimes, I'll challenge myself to write only active lines. Of course, a good story requires the perfect balance of the two, but I find if I practice doing just one or the other, it's easier to naturally find that balance.

Although, I pointed out the use of modifiers, I want to affirm your wonderful verb selections. Spiral and evaded are just two examples that I thoroughly enjoyed.
Because you have such a grip on your word choices, I'd urge you to avoid clichés like end of my rope, drowning in despair. Instead put those in your own words, and you'll have an even more powerful connection with your reader.

You did an outstanding job of sharing. I firmly believe that God has huge plans for you and this story. You definitely touched my heart.