The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/13/15
The rhythm of this poem was hypnotic, and your words are a very good reminder of getting back to the basics of God's truth.
This is a powerful plea to God. I can picture myself as the MC easily. You did a great job of taking the topic and showcasing it's different meanings.

The only red ink I have is the overuse the word that. I think you'd be surprised if you counted how many times you used it. I also think sometimes you used that when you meant so or which or so that. (You could Google that vs so or that vs which to help you understand what I mean.)

Your poem flows quite nicely. It's a great message for today's world. It touched my heart.