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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: REDUCE (11/05/15)
Reduce this noise, that I may rest,
Reduce the junk that’s in my head,
Clear out the stuff that I must own,
Believe that truly less is more.

Oh, I want to live close to the ground,
Discover what I am all about,
Where I can feel that I can fly,
Break free, get dirty, touch with my heart.

Reduce the lights and close my eyes,
Become so small, yet so profound,
Back to the womb where I am safe,
Not needing much, so pure and bare.

Reduce this weight that’s on my back,
Stand up straight, look to the sky,
Forget the fear, breathe out and deep,
Be vulnerable, laugh from within.

Be so alive, awake and real,
Return to where I was meant to be,
Remove this place where I get lost,
Reduce the space, that I may love.

Reduce this speed, not zooming by,
Can I reclaim what I forgot?
Away with clutter, light as a feather,
A simple joy is so much better.

But I keep holding things so tight,
And by doing so I lose my life,
Please take my fear, reduce my pride,
Reduce me, Lord, that you may shine.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Donna Powers 
11/13/15
The rhythm of this poem was hypnotic, and your words are a very good reminder of getting back to the basics of God's truth.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
11/16/15
This is a powerful plea to God. I can picture myself as the MC easily. You did a great job of taking the topic and showcasing it's different meanings.

The only red ink I have is the overuse the word that. I think you'd be surprised if you counted how many times you used it. I also think sometimes you used that when you meant so or which or so that. (You could Google that vs so or that vs which to help you understand what I mean.)

Your poem flows quite nicely. It's a great message for today's world. It touched my heart.