The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/29/15
Thank you for sharing your story. I can see the Lord has blessed you and developed traits in you which are sure to be an asset in your work for Him
A good self-revealing article. I liked it.

In this sentence: "I realized that I started to open up myself to others as I took part in activities like singing, ice-breakers, skits, and song-leading sometimes." does the word "sometimes" describe "song-leading"? It seems awkward coming after it.


I am wondering if in this sentence: "Certainly, I had been transported to a universe which is completely novel to me." would have the save effect if the word "was" was substituted for the word "is"?

I like the transformation you protrayed.
10/30/15
It seemed to me that you changed tenses, and needed a lot of proofreading and editing. However, it was a good article to make one think about how God brings us along if we allow Him to.
10/30/15
I think God gives courage to the timid.
11/01/15
Thank you for your submission!

To give a little more dimension, you may want to add more detail or dialogue. In Paragraph two: what particular song or activity encouraged you the most? In paragraph five: emphasize a certain question or answer that changed you.

Need to go over some tense changes ...having a friend read it back to you always helps!

I enjoyed your topic and how God can make a person "bloom" into a confident, less timid person.