The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/08/15
You make an excellent point in your clear, concise and Scripture-filled article. You gave us a good reminder of our need to spread the Word
10/08/15
Great message. I also love the story about Elijah and Elisha.

Critique: Perhaps you might want to make your sentences shorter to avoid run-ons. It will also make your story more concise and easier to read.

I wish you all the best. :)
10/09/15
Excellent job with the topic in content and delivery.

God bless~
You make some great points. I liked the Bible verses you selected too. They really reinforce your message.

You had a couple of incomplete sentences. Also, you shouldn't start a sentence with a numeral. You could either write out Second Corinthians or rephrase it. If you could find someone to proof your article, he or she would hopefully pick up on these little things. I'd urge you to read some stories, and if you connect with one or two, ask them if they'd like to be challenge buddies.

Your story is definitely on topic, but you don't need to repeat the topic word for it to be so. You showed the excitement in your examples, and I could feel your enthusiasm in this delightful piece. There is nothing quite like the joy Jesus gives us, and you definitely made that clear in your article. Nice job.
In the first paragraph the last sentence was a little rough for me. How about "... when we hear his voice, as his sheep(lamb), we listen.

You may have been trying to say too much, as it seemed to me, you jumped around somewhat.

You are correct,though, when our lives are lined up with God's desire for us it will be "zestful".
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