The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/08/15
Your faith is evident, and your belief shines strongly in this article.
This poem tugged at my heart. It is evident that your faith in God is important to you. The message "New Beginning's, a New Start was a refreshing take on this topic.
10/08/15
Beautiful poem. Your understanding of the transforming love of Jesus shines through.

All the best. :)
10/09/15
So beautiful!
God bless~
This is quite lovely. Your journey to hope and faith is well defined and comforting.

I stumbled over just a couple of tiny things. The line about one's self didn't seem to fit because you were using the first person plural so it seems more likely ourselves or perhaps others if you meant a third person might be a clearer fit. I also stumbled on this line: there must be more to life?
I wanted to read it: is there more to life? because that seems more like a question to my novice ears.

With that said, let me stress poetry isn't my strongest genre. My comments are strictly my initial thoughts and others may disagree. I think you did a nice job of showing the topic. I especially liked the explanation why God allows us to have that empty feeling. I can totally relate to the MC and think your answers to those questions are beautiful and will touch everyone who is blessed enough to read your wonderful words.
As I read it, it seemed somewhat long. I feel the same thing could be said with fewerwords.

I liked the organization and the clean looks of the verses.

I feel the idea of "accepting Jesus into our hearts" is the same as "believing". The "obeying Jesus" is the hard part since many mix this up with being saved by works.

Obeying is just the proof of believing.

It seems you like poetry. Keep at it every chance you have.
10/10/15
My favorite line in your poem is "then it sinks in." I don't think that needs any further explanation!

I am in the beginner level too. I look forward to reading more of your writing.