The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/03/15
I loved this story! This is my kind of writing...I'm so sentimental and mushy!

Great job.

God bless~
09/07/15
This is a loving piece of writing that leaves this reader with a warm, fuzzy feeling all over!
This is a lovely story. I wasn't sure how you were going to pull the topic in, but you did so quite nicely. I really like your way you showed how easy it can be to isolate one's self when that person is hurting.

My biggest suggestion would be to do more showing and less telling by including body language, dialog and thoughts. For example: My coworker nudged me with her elbow. "Girl, you need to get out...”

Frowning, I dipped my head and tried not to cry. No one understands. I'm raising four kids on my own; I need a rest not a social life. I keep telling her I don't want a boyfriend. I've been there, done that, and never want to get married again. I know she means well, but still...

That's just an example of how you can include the back story little by little while doing more showing than telling. I like your MC and think you did a nice job of giving the reader a glimpse into how difficult it can be for single mom's. I love the way God gives us what we need, not what we want. Your ending was beautiful and I do believe God sends us angels whether they be corporeal or angels hanging on a tress. You did a great job.
09/10/15
Congratulations again this week! I knew this one would do well.
Congratulations on ranking 2nd in your level and 20th overall. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.
09/11/15
Lesliejean,

Congratulations on your second place win in the beginner category.

What a beautifully written story. Weddings always make me cry. Surrounding angels.

Thank you for sharing your writing talents
09/12/15
Congratulations on your 2nd place in the beginner's category, LeslieJean!

I am glad God always has a plan for our lives. It might not be in our timing, but God's love is always evident.