The Official Writing Challenge
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I like what you did with this poem. I immediately pictured Las Vegas or a street hustler. My main red ink would be aware of using the universal you. In this instance, I think if you had stuck with the first person, it'd have made it stronger and more intimate. I think you nailed the topic for sure. I also liked how you weaved your message intricately throughout this lovely poem. Nice job.
08/29/15
Great job and on topic. I enjoyed your poem very much.

God bless~
08/29/15
Your poem does a good job of emphasizing Christians are not at home yet. This is just the first step into eternity.
I liked the imagery of your poem. It shows how easy to chase after material things that make you feel empty after awhile. Only God can satisfy a heart and soul. Well written.