The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/23/15
You have a lot of good descriptive phrases in your story; however, you need to get to the conflict much sooner.

I would begin your story with the 6th paragraph. Then, I would talk more about your visit in Bangkok, rather than your experience in the airport.
The word traveling is spelled with one 'l' not two. I would also get rid of the last sentence because you don't want people knowing that you're writing for a contest.

08/27/15
Congratulations on your 3rd place award in the Beginner's category.

Your story would have fit with this week's topic about check in/check out at the airport.

Travelling can be spelled with two 'l's if you are writing outside the United States.
Congratulations on your third place finish in the beginner. It is awesome God works in our lives. I would rework the sentence, "Surprise so strange was in store." I wanted to clarify that the topic this week was check-in and out of a hotel on vacation. There were some excellent points in your stories.