The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is almost like free verse poetry. Very powerful thoughts that would be more powerful if they had their own space. Don't be afraid of getting creative with paragraph and spacing.

This is a challenging story, but I don't think it fits the topic. It doesn't go into 'vacation', which is a point in the topic.

I enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing this.

God Bless
This poem was beautifully written. Such emotion and sentiment in this piece. I believe you could have expanded the story further so it would have been on the topic of vacation. I really liked your writing style.
This is really sweet. I loved the picture you painted. It was beautiful, and something I could relate to a bit too much. I think you missed the topic a bit as the souvenir is supposed to be from a vacation. Each week on the message boards there is a thread that explains the topic and allows you to ask questions about it. The message in this touching piece is one all parents are familiar with and also need to be reminded. I remember once being annoyed that one of the kids was hanging on me. Practically the next day (or so it seemed) I missed his cuddling. This is a powerful piece indeed.
Beautiful and touching. This entry warmed my soul.

God bless~
Powerful and poetic writing. I agree with the first critique that a different format would have suited your style better. Either that or you needed to develop your story ideas further.

Keep writing; I think you have a lot of potential.