The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/12/05
You do have good potential as a writer. I would caution you on a couple things:

1.) You M U S T proof-read your work! It is so important that you check your spelling and grammar before submitting.

2.) Be careful about being quick to judge people in articles. There is good truth in this article. Your parents probably trust you because of your behavior. Rather than reward their trust with casting them down, try accepting that your convictions have brought your parents to that trust.

You really need to stay involved on the message boards and have a good time here. There are a lot of people who can help you with your writing.

Keep it up.
12/12/05
It is a good thing you did standing for what you believe in,sit and talk with your mum please ,concerning the issues you wrote about.
12/12/05
You have a good start here with your article. When polished, I could see it in a youth Sunday school book as a lesson.

Do be careful with the message you send. Youth are very impressionable. The parents in the story knew they could trust their child. Also, if the thirteen year old knew that the mother of their friend drank, then they could have been responsible enough on their own, to not go over there in the first place.
12/13/05
I love your ending about all standing together to make a forest. You have great potential as a writer. I agree with the others, I think you need to talk with your mom. You will get lots of support here at FW, but you and your mom need to be able to talk about the things that are important to you. Give it a try. We'll all be praying for you.
Good job! Good choice to stand apart from the peer pressure. I know that's tough. Sharing the courage that it took to stand apart from the crowd, may help another young person do the same. Jesus will become a great adventure, keep writing as you experience more and more of it!
12/13/05
Thanks for sharing this! Consider removing yourself from this kind of temptation by seeking out like-minded friends.

You will be a very good writer some day; keep at it!
12/13/05
Good stuff! Keep up the work. the others have given you some excellent critiques on the writing. Liked the inclusion of the decision making process, especially moving beyond blaming Mom.
12/17/05
You have a beautiful message for your peers. You wrote exactly from the veiw point of your youth. Stand up for your convictions, and this can lead to your family to Christ Jesus too. You did a very good job of getting your main point across, for parents and kids alike. There are alot of people here that can help you improve the writing skills as you grow in faith. Keep up the writing! God bless ya, littlelight