The Official Writing Challenge
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I really liked your story. I may have begun the story with your daughter being missing in the pool at the opening of the story instead of the chariot race. Guardian angels must have been with you during those traumatic minutes of searching for her.
You did a nice job with both of these stories. I liked how you told a true life story. I can definitely relate to that feeling. I still wonder how my son manged to survive his childhood. He was fearless then, but God had great plans for my son. He's in the process of getting his MDiv. I'm sure God has great plans for your daughter too. My only red ink might be to have a transition line between the stories. Perhaps something like: Like Gehazi, I once was stunned and terrified of my situation. Although, you did use a transition paragraph that did connect the two, but I think another line might help the transition feel smoother. Your message is a great one. I especially enjoyed that you used a biblical story and a real one too. It's a great recipe for devotion writing. If you haven't submitted a devotional to FW daily devotion, I'd urge you to do so. You have a gift for it.
06/17/15
I was moved by the swimming pool story, and by the sweet innocence of your daughter's reaction to the incident.

I feel as if this would be stronger if you wrote on either the swimming pool incident OR the biblical one. Perhaps you could expand on the swimming pool event--giving some background about the trip to the park, including an incident that happened just prior to the one you described, adding dialogue and sensory details. In short, creative nonfiction or first person narratives such as this one can benefit from some of the same things that make fiction compelling: action, conflict, character development, and the like.

If you wanted to make this into a devotional (or just a narrative with a take-away for the reader), you could then include the Elisha verses from the Bible and your conclusion about angels, gleaned from the pool incident and the scriptures.