The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I enjoyed your message in this piece. After having the same minister for 18 years, and the one before for 25 years, the church was devastated to learn he was being transferred. Once I removed my emotions, I could acknowledge that the church needs "fresh blood." Your piece reminded me to keep my focus on God, not the minister.

Be careful with your punctuation. You have quite a few run-on and complicated sentence. This line is complex, passive, and hard to understand (I changed the punctuation to how I might edit to show you what I mean): The well-attended weekly men’s and lady’s combined Bible studies were by no means dull or boring, but Stanley and his wife Sonja were concerned that it was becoming a ritual that felt comfortable, and besides, the suppers were a real treat.
You could tighten it up and make it an active sentence like this: Stanley and his wife Sonja worried that their weekly Bible study was turning into nothing more than a good meal and comfortable rituals.

I liked the Bible verses you selected. They really fit well with your message. It's amazing how God plans for us. Like Collin reviving the group and how much has to go into it. Not only did someone have to start the study, but then it had to become routine, someone had to be brave enough to mention it, Collin had to hear about the group, find a way to attend, know his Bible, and be brave enough to question. I'm sure I'm leaving things out too. It's too complex to be a coincidence. You did a nice job of showing how God truly loves us and works things out way before we even know there is a problem.
Great points here - and I enjoyed the wisdom of the new believer especially.

This might be a personal opinion, but I think this would resonate more with the reader if you made the language a bit less formal - to get us more engaged in the story.