The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I totally enjoyed this charming story. I think you did a splendid job of developing the MC and allowing the reader to feel his pain.

My main suggestion would be to start off with an active line instead of a passive one. For example: Lester pounded his fist on the table. Six months will fly by too fast. It's not fair! At eighty-two, he had lived only 164 months of his life...

The story really touched my heart. I like the way you made the character seem so real. Life isn't fair, and God never promised it would be. He does promise to help us through those tough times. You sprinkled the topic throughout this story. I thought you did a great job of showing God care about us.
I feel like I know Lester - and that is impressive with only 750 words to work with. Powerful story, and a great reminder for ALL of us. Great use of detail too.