The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/29/15
It appears to me you have two wonderful stories going on here, one about Moses, and one about the nurse - both great stories. Consider breaking this into two separate pieces. Also the line, "Recently, my wife and I visited a church pastored by her previous church friend," seems not to fit with either story - I wonder if you could just leave that out? Just a suggestion.
This is a great devotion. I like your true life story and how it enhances the Bible. Your message makes it easier to relate to others too. I especially enjoyed the story about the friend. I think sometimes, because this is a Christian challenge, people think a Bible message or verse must be included. While I enjoyed the first half, I also would have loved to see the friend section expanded with dialog, emotions, and the personalities of all involved. You did a fine job,