The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/18/15
This is good. I like your story.

I would have made this a bit more conversational. Even if you have to paraphrase things a bit, give us some dialogue. What was it the the preacher actually said that really struck you? What did your friends say, and what was your response? Those type of things really make stories come alive.

It also makes it easier on the eyes to leave a blank line between paragraphs. But that is not judged, so don't worry about it from that perspective. It just makes things easier.

Again, I love your story, and I'd love to see this re-done with a bit more "flare."
05/19/15
Inspiring testimony - thanks for sharing!
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