The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/05/15
Clever and creative read, with a powerful message in the interim. Well done!

God bless~
Really loved the format. Nice read. GOD bless you
03/05/15
The title really caught my eye. Creative approach to the topic.
03/07/15
There is a lyrical quality to your writing - a way with words that makes your sentences flow well. Good job.
The title caught my eye as well. Love the story. It had a nice flow. Clever writing. God Bless.
I loved this story! Well written and creative. Great writing!
I really enjoyed this. It's definitely an out-of-the-box story, and I think your creativity makes it a great read.

The one thing you might want to consider is using more showing. One way to do this is to substitute narrative lines for taglines. For example: He spun his head around and glared at the waitress. "How'd you know my name?"

Overall, though, I think you did a fine job. You delivered a clear message without coming off as preachy. It was a delightful read from beginning to end.


Jan's Writing Basics has some great tips for all levels of writers. If you seen them on the forums or haven't participated yet, I'd urge you to. She does a great job of responding to everyone who participates.
03/11/15
Vivid and speaks volumes on faith...

This would make a great TV movie!

Wing His Words
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