The Official Writing Challenge
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I think this is something many parents can relate to. No matter how hard we try, it's easy to let the pressures of the world build up and then spill out on our children. I liked your opening paragraph. I might change the first line to more of a grabber perhaps like this: As I opened my eyes to the dawning of a fresh day, my stomach started bubbling. Instantly, my mind flashed back to the horrible scene from the day before.
Though not perfect, it creates a bit of suspense. That first sentence is so important in today's world when the next story is just a click away.

The rest of the opening paragraph is great and it did intrigue me. I think you did a great job of writing on topic. You also include several good messages too. I think my favorite is that even though we are Christians, we are not perfect and really need God during every minute of the day. I also liked the dialog. It is a great way to give your characters depth while moving the story along. Remember to start a new paragraph each time someone different speaks, even if it's one word. You also may want to put thoughts and prayers in italics which shows the reader immediately that they are thoughts, eliminating the need for taglines like I said to myself.

Overall, you did a great job on this piece. I like the way the conflict was resolved and how you showed how forgiving little kids can be. You also showed that the mom really needs to rely on God so that the cycle of anger isn't repeated in the next generation. Nicely done.

On the message boards, there is a thread called Jan's Writing Basics. I urge all levels of writers to read and participate in it. Jan is wonderful about leaving feedback for anyone who posts in the thread. It's one of the best learning tools the internet has to offer. If you haven't checked it out yet, here's the link: