The Official Writing Challenge
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Great job! Well written account of Proverbs. Interesting approach to the topic at hand.

God bless~
I enjoyed this, was good to see how the sins of the father had severely influenced the son.
Brilliant, fantastic, I loved this story. Very well-written with impacting images and a strong message.
Well done compelling imagery of a once proud King, humbled by the realization of his sin and powerlessness outside the intervention of the Living God. I enjoyed reading this slice-of-life story in the life of King Solomon.
You have made the life of Solomon and his realization of his sin come alive. Such a great man brought to his knees before God. Well done.

The red ink I have is, put a space between paragraphs and each persons comments. This may have happened in the trans fer. Blessings, LaVonne
You've brought this to life so beautifully. I don't think you'll be in beginners for long.

One piece of red ink - give the scripture reference at the end as an author's note. This helps readers to then go and find the passage themselves if they want to think about it further.

I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with next week's topic. Great piece!

Creative, credible depiction of how the scriptures came to be written. A minor touch of red ink would be to recommend para breaks to enhance the flow for your readers.
You have used the topic creatively and pulled it off well. As others have said, space between the paragraphs is needed. It's easier on the eyes, but I think every one of us started out without them. Great job. Well done.
Extremely poignant - this glimpse into the heart of the wisest King ever to bear the torment of ruling his own desires. God had gifted King Solomon with wealth, wisdom, peace and power beyond mere mortal desire; how could such a blessed man lust beyond? Mayhaps all the peace and power he enjoyed left his thoughts to meander?

Excellent piece!
I enjoyed your fresh take on this familiar story. You brought it to life with the dialog. You did a nice job of incorporating the message throughout the entire piece. Nice job.
As far as red ink is concerned, anything I might have noted someone else has already mentioned.

I really appreciated your approach to the theme. Solomon certainly fills the bil1. I might have pursued the bad influence he was on his son a little more but 750 words isn't a lot to work with and emphasizing his repentance was important.
God bless~
Congratulations! Well done!
Keep up the good work!
I thought that was very creative and well crafted! I liked the way you brought out the characters of the Bible people and made them seem very human, and not distant at all.
Congratulations on ranking 1st in your level and 15 overall. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.