The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/20/14
A very deep and profound entry. Interesting and powerfully done.

God bless~
This might be the opening page of a book but I would like to see where it is going.

Did you mean cherie where you have cherry?
What a fascinating piece! Powerful in its brevity.

The imagery was unusual and very captivating!
11/24/14
The symbolism in this article is deep. I would have liked a little more clarity about Israel.
This is a brilliant idea. I loved the idea of the beratta, and think it is an excellent metaphor. I wish you'd expanded on it a bit more. I'd have enjoyed reading more. Another thing that might help would be to do more showing than telling. For example:Instead of saying he is taciturn, show it with something like this. He sat, eyes blankly staring ahead, refusing to move except when he flexed his muscle to bring his drink to his lips. It's not perfect, but gets the idea across while still creating a picture for your reader. I think your message was great. You did a nice job of writing in the genre too.
11/26/14
I really enjoyed some of the images you used, your word choices, and your unique voice and style. I'd like more of your concepts expanded because after reading lines several times, I really didn't get what you meant for me to get. I couldn't make the mind-leap necessary to understand the symbolic technique you've used. I'm left feeling confused, and disappointed about that because it's a really interesting piece.
11/26/14
Hmmm... I've read it again (teehee, see - it's a fascinating piece). I think it's a look at the christian church today that has lost it's focus on the powerful sacrificial Christ and the church's commission, responsibility and holiness. Instead it has been tempted by materialism, the flesh and judgment of others... am I right?
Thanks for all the positive input guys. Sorry I was a tad too deep perhaps. It's basically a metaphor for the Church's state some time after the rapture. Israel is being duped by the anti-Christ and Church is rather upset. Nonetheless they are still called to fight the good fight against Satan and live a victorious life, even in this mess.

Following your advice, I'm actually working further on the piece with some scripture references thrown in so one can understand where I'm getting some of these concepts from.
And yes Mr. Pezzali, all those things are in that awful cup. A loss of focus on holiness, responsibility and whole gamut of affliction the church bears.
Israel is the luminous choice red vine of Isaiah 5: 2. She's rejected her Messiah and Lord. That rejection is a wound in Church's side.

Thanks so much again for the input.