Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Write for the HUMOR Genre (10/09/14)
- TITLE: Long day at the shop
By Trace Pezzali
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My mother wasn’t able to look after wee Joshua until an hour into me shift, so I had to take him into work. The boss wasn’t half unhappy, but what could I do?
It was most awkward serving customers with me wee bonny lad on me lap. He kept putting his fingers in the till. I was worried the boss was gonna charge me with theft. And Joshua kept tryin to drink from me thermos. I told him, You can’t do that – you’ll get drunk! Besides, I need every last drop just to survive the day as it is.
Thankfully Mother got there as early as possible to take the little trainee away.
I had that customer again with the two screaming children. Well, one of them looked real cute today dressed as a wee lamb. The lady didn’t find it amusing when I jokingly called her Mary. She said “I’m not Mary” to which I wittingly replied “Oh, it’s just that you have a little lamb”. She didn’t raise a smile. The kids were a nightmare as usual, so I called her Mary a few times just to annoy her.
And she kept rushing off to get more items, so there was soon a line of customers waiting to be served. I’m sure she did it deliberate, leaving the two toddlers behind, so I had to deal with them climbing the counter and fighting each other. When she came back I suggested that next time she sedate them next time prior to their arrival, and to collect all her grocery items before she came to the till, it was very inconsiderate.
Well, she didn’t like that and she spoke to the manager on the way out. Thankfully he’d seen the whole thing so he only reprimanded me for lack of tact, and told me that it was certainly not acceptable that I said to her not to come back any time soon, regardless if I thought it, and meant it as a joke. The manager had to give her a whole lot of coupons so we kept her custom. And he wants me to say sorry for my attitude, next time I see her.
I know I was a bit harsh, and I lacked all Christian patience. It’s hard being a mother. I know!
How well I know!
The owner had to speak to me again later. I helped an old woman get money from her purse after she tried repeatedly to open it. He told me I shouldn't have said there may be medicine to help with that, even if I meant it to be kindly, and I’m never ever to suggest that someone pay a customer service fee for my efforts!
It’s not like I would have taken any extra... not from a pensioner at least.
I tell yuh. It doesn't pay to speak at all. The real trouble is the lack of an appreciative audience. People are so serious all the time they don’t recognize wit.
I wonder if people would object to sign language.
Ack, God’s gotta lot of work to do in me yet, ain’t that the truth.
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