The Official Writing Challenge
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09/18/14
I love the first line...so true!!
09/19/14
Great job! Your words will touch many. When the Holy Spirit gives us the conviction to follow through, we know we must,as you so clearly did.

Thanks for sharing your story. I wonder how your friend is...hopefully you've gotten back on track.

God bless~
09/20/14
(She's as well as anyone who don't believe in God. Even though I'm tempted, I will never give up total contact. I've trying to mature from who I used to be and I try to see life in a new light. I keep reaching out to her. We have not met up yet since this happened, but I do telephone her to say Hi and offer my friendship without conditions.)


I certainly can relate to this! As was said above, this will touch many. Thank you for sharing x
09/21/14
Nicely written example of how we can be so quick to formulate a justification for our own bad reactions.
God in His grace lovingly quickens our spirit and gently prompts us to be more of who we were created to be.
I'm still learning too!
You wrote excellently about being tender to the leading of the Spirit and being obedient to His leading you to demonstrate God's love and grace. And it's definitely time for you to move from beginners to intermediate!
The Holy Spirit, through your beautiful words, is prompting me to reunite with friends almost thirty years estranged. Thank you.
09/21/14
That first step is always the hardest. So often we put barriers up.Remember with Gods help those walls can be like Lego walls easily taken down but still are a barrier. Keep up the good work
09/22/14
I like your honesty, in your response to God and in the unfinished story of your efforts to infuse his grace into your interaction with your friend.
09/22/14
You have a great opening sentence and I love the ending and the strong message it delivers.

I can see where you are working to "show" the reader the inner conflict and thoughts. Continue to do that more and more.

A quick tip: Use italics when writing a character's thoughts. As in 1st Paragraph, "Who needs friends like this?" & 2nd P. "I would be doing the right thing".

I wish someone would have told me that in a critique long before I figured it out myself by reading entries in level 4, which is also a good idea.
You are doing great. Keep up the good work!





09/22/14
What a great reminder for us to listen for God's voice in the midst of the living of life -- even when we don't want to!!!

Thanks for sharing.
09/23/14
You have a great, real, example here of God leading and you listening. You tell it with authenticity and in a modest, self-deprecating manner, so it doesn't come off as being preachy.

Your voice is maybe the best part of your writing. That, combined with your ability to cut to the heart of your subject, makes you a potentially formidable writer.

The only thing holding you back, really, are some fairly grammatical minor errors and, possibly, cosmetic decisions.

Sheldon already pointed out the idea of using italics for your MC's inner dialogue, and I agree that is a good option when not overused (as I sometimes do).

Another thing I noticed is that your only use of a parenthesis wasn't really necessary - and the "E" in "Except" shouldn't have been capitalized and the period should have been outside the parenthesis.

As I said, these are fairly minor errors, easily fixed, and I only mention them because I feel that a big part of the benefit of being on a site like Faithwriters is that this is a safe place where you can get good, constructive, feedback that is really meant to help strengthen your writing.

I want to reiterate that I agree with everyone here that your entry is a great piece of writing and I agree that your writing is better than Beginner level.

As a matter of fact, in my opinion, we have a lot of "Beginners" who should be in "Intermediate", at the least, right now.

Sorry for such a long comment. If you want to know any of the other spots where I noticed either grammar or structural soft spots, let me know and I will be happy to share offline.
09/30/14
Lindsey, very well done and you received some good comments and agree that you are on your way for greater writing. I see you blessed one individual to make contact with her lost friends. Keep God in focus.
10/01/14
Your opening line is really great! Nicely written article.