The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
09/12/14
Excellent story...it had me sitting at the edge of my seat.

Well done!

God bless~
This piece is filled with messages. You did a good job on the topic.
09/15/14
Great job! Lot's of tension and suspense drive this interesting story forward.
I missed the transition where it said "Robert feed the horses..." and had the brothers mixed up. I had to go back and re-read the story to keep them straight as to who did what.

Many lessons in this. One sin does not live by itself.

Even "little sins" will have to be followed by others.

Good work.
Wow! I agree with Toni...talk about suspense!!

I especially liked the part that read "Looking straight into the barrel of Ray's 45, Robert had no doubt that the decision for disclosure had been removed from him."

I also liked the way the ending sort of trailed off, and came full circle to the beginning. It makes me want to know what happened next. Did the brothers reconcile? I could see this as a novel... :)
Totally absorbing. Compelling writing - you will not be a beginner for long.
09/18/14
Congratulations!
God bless~