The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/28/14
Well done. This story has the allegorical qualities of Hinds Feet on High Places. The descriptions were compelling and vivid. Great take on the the topic. Just double check your spelling and ears can't gasp, lol. "My ears rang and gasped for air." Great job!
This could be worked up into a nice "kid's bible story" about fighting against sin and temptations.

When part of the Christian's armor is lacking, we don't do to well fighting off temptation.

You used some interesting words in your story.
08/29/14
An excellent story! Well written and well done. I really thought this creative and imaginative.

I know you accidently left out "I" ,/i>in the sentence ,i>"my ears rang and I gasped for air."

As a writer I've been there and done that leaving out a word or comma. I still do! It's because we're thinking quicker than our fingers can go! LOL.

But, it in no way detracted from the story...I thought it was a fine tale.

God Bless~
08/29/14
An excellent story! Well written and well done. I really thought this creative and imaginative.

I know you accidently left out "I" in the sentence "my ears rang and I gasped for air."

As a writer I've been there and done that leaving out a word or comma. I still do! It's because we're thinking quicker than our fingers can go! LOL.

But, it in no way detracted from the story...I thought it was a fine tale.

God Bless~
08/31/14
Thanks for sharing your creative fiction. These type of allegory stories are a wonderful way to make a spiritual impact. Consider the impact of Pilgrim's Progress!
09/04/14
Rosey

I am so happy for your win!

This was an excellent story and I really loved it! So thrilled it received the recognition it deserved!

God bless~
Congratulations on ranking 2nd in your level and 20 overall! The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.