The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/29/14
Well done! Thanks for this inspiring story.

God bless~
An interesting article that is a good read. Keep writing my friend!
I may not call it fiction but a stylized account of a true story.

You did quite well with it putting it as one who lived it.
I enjoyed this piece. There are many stories about Jesus being our best friend. I think you took the way many did, yet you had a cool twist in being friends with Peter too and feeling the agony that Peter most have experienced. So you nailed the topic in a fresh, creative way.

I did notice some spots where it needed to be proofed. If you don't have a challenge buddy, try to let the story sit for a day. Fresh eyes will catch things like they're vs their. I have a silly way to remember the differences. There has here inside of it and often you can switch the word there to here and it still makes sense. They're is the two words one. Think of the apostrophe as holding a's place. Once a returns they're turns into they are. Lastly their is possessive. In their is the word heir. Usually if someone becomes an heir, they will possess something. I hope that helps. Of course I realize it could have been a faceplant mistake, but maybe my silly ways will help someone else.

Overall, you did a fine job. Your dialog was nice and helped move the story along. You delivered a great message without coming off as preachy. Well done.
06/04/14
This is a well told story, just marred a bit by errors of spelling and wrong tense in one or two places. Before posting, it might be a good idea to have your article checked by someone who can help. However, I enjoyed the perspective you took in this story.