The Official Writing Challenge
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04/10/14
This a fine story with a powerful message on what can be accomplished when the Lord is given control. It got and kept my attention throughout. CPO Marshall knew how to keep his men calm and full of God's grace under pressure. One of your best, so far. Great job!
04/11/14
An excellent story with both a powerful message and ending.

Nicely done...it was well written and I was pulled in from beginning to end.

God bless~
04/13/14
Your material is always exciting and carries a great deal of suspense for what might occur. You are definitely getting even better than you were before. I truly enjoyed this piece.

I noticed a couple things that might help make this greater. You don't have to tag each piece of dialogue with the speaker's name. Be creative in how you indicate who is speaking. You used Marshal's name a lot. You could call him, "their seasoned leader" or any number of things and we would still know it was Marshal speaking.

Also, try to begin your piece with the action or the conflict. That grabs the reader right away. Perhaps you could begin with sighting the drug runners and the crew's fears. The back story and pertinent info can be filled in later as the story is unfolding.

I hope that helps. It is so exciting to see how all of us are growing as writers, and as Christians! I believe God has a special niche in mind for your writing. Keep up the great work.
I would let others who have knowledge of the Coast Guard to comment on that area as I am not familiar with it.

Your major point of trusting in Jesus for peace and calmness in serious situations is well taken.

Nice use of the theme word.
04/17/14
Congrats on your HC! I knew this was going to be a good one! Your storytelling is amazing, and your detail is awesome! BLessings, Lynn
04/17/14
Congrats!

God bless~