The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 286 times
Member Comments
Inspriational, and well done! Great job.

God bless~
You painted a story they kept me engaged. I especially liked the tenacity of George, your main character, and how once he found God he followed where he was being led. And when he was discouraged he went to the Word for answers. I love how you dovetailed unemployment to the scripture passage that you quoted. Well done. Keep writing
Yes, a person's obedience to God proves he/she believes Jesus is Lord.

The story was easy to follow.

You used the lay-off as a trial (James 1:1-7) for him to grow from.

Go where God leads with your writing.
I'm glad George trusted in Christ even through his difficult circumstances.

If the first paragraph was reworked, I think the overall story would be even better. There was a run-on and an awkward sentence in it.

He told Mrs. Brown, his mother, that the family could go ahead with the meal he was not hungry. (Either add a semicolon or a comma and a coordinating conjunction after the word meal.)

He thought to himself that how could he be hungry when he was not pleases with the situation in his life.

How could he be hungry at a time like this; he didn't even have a job.
Love the message here and you told it in a very lucid manner. I am wondering if -since you have nominated it as fiction- could it have been a touch more descriptive. Just a thought of course as it is always easy to 'drive' from the back seat. :)
Something like -'How', he asked himself could he eat when his stomach was churning with anxiety?' It saves a whole lot of telling as opposed to a little showing.
Or if he wasn't anxious- 'how', he stared dismally at his empty inbox, was he supposed to eat...

Anything would think this was my story lol. Anyway I enjoyed it. Well done.