The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/13/14
I enjoyed this multi-layered piece which had many messages throughout. A deep story with a powerful closing. Nicely done.

God bless~
02/13/14
Fascinating story. I hope you work on it more. I think were you nit constrained by the word limit and expand on he MC more this would be brilliant.
02/14/14
Interesting piece with lot's of potential. I got a little confused when the story moved from present tense to past tense back and forth a few times. I wonder if it stayed all in one tense or the other, if that would improve your telling of the story?
I felt it was a difficult for me to follow the action.

The spacing of the paragraphs were nicely done though.
I enjoyed the content of your message. You seemed to be sharing that the main character had found purpose by giving himself for the welfare of another. Beautiful message!!!