The Official Writing Challenge
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Great job with your retelling of this biblical story. I enjoyed it, and it was really well written!

God bless~
Hey - you write like a pro! Good use of internal dialogue and building tension within the setting of the cave. One suggestion I would make is to not use modern colloquialisms such as yuk, ugh, or freaking in the context of this biblical account. Your writing is so good it truly transported me into the time frame of the reign of Kings in Israel - whereas I found the use of modern words detracted from the authentic feel of the story, and not needed to make your story writing exemplary. Keep writing! You're natural ability is tremendous and God wants to use your writing in a great way.
Why are you submitting in the beginners level? Obviously you are no novice. This is a wonderful piece. Well written with great content and message. What a delight to find this entry here!

Keep it coming we want more.
I like the reliving and retelling of this story by one who experienced it.

It seemed accurate to the story and the setting.

It brought the drama to life.