The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/09/14
I like this poem very much! Nice treatment of the theme. "At the end of toil, I hear distant echoes." Lovely!
I liked the short chopy rythme that came to me as I read it.

The whole day is unfolded. There was toil and yet joy; lonliness yet anticipation of a new day.

I liked what it told.
01/09/14
As a Level 1 writer, you might not be aware of the free writing lessons available on the FaithWriters forums. This week’s lesson is on writing devotionals, and next week will cover writing on topic for the weekly challenge. Look for it at http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=67, or if you’re on Facebook, you can “like” Faithwriters Writing Lessons. I’d love to have your input into the conversation there!
01/10/14
This told a pretty significant story. Well done!

God bless~
01/10/14
The record of a day in the life of a busy single mother, this seems. Even how you presented the poem echos haste! Very nice.
01/11/14
The simple voice here is absolutely perfect for the picture being painted.
01/12/14
I enjoyed this piece, and hope to read more entries from you soon. Keep up the good work.
Very well-written poem. It tells a beautiful story of the end of a day in the life of a plain Serengeti mother and her children.

"After heads and pillows blend
I am a woman alone, and quiet."

Love these lines. Well done.
I enjoyed your poem and the rhythm it conveyed of a busy life. I liked your depiction of the busy end of a busy day, and finally some time to enjoy quiet while "heads and pillows blend" and the night creatures begin to stir.
Nicely done. :)
Congratulations on ranking 6th in your level! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.)