The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/10/13
Good job with this piece. Good way of wrapping-up the message in your story.

God bless~
I really enjoyed this. I thought the idea of the letter was quite clever. It pulled me in and I found myself eager to keep reading.

The only thing I would point out is that you had some repetition, for example you use the word rejection and choices a couple of times in a short space. Just mix it up a little bit to keep the reader fully invested. You don't need to use the words of the topic to be on topic. For me personally, it would have been even more powerful had it started out Dear Son.

You did such a wonderful job of expressing the love that every person needs no matter how old. This was spot on topic and powerful. There is much truth in your words and I have no doubt God will use this letter in ways you may never imagine. Great job.
10/11/13
Such a heart-felt letter. It really appeals to all the black sheep of this world to come home.... But come home to who? The letter did not indicate or imply who the "We" were. Yes back to the family but is it a church family? or the Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit)? Not sure who is calling the black sheep.
Nicely written letter.

If you would outline the main points of this letter, you would find between 3 and 5 main points. These could be the paragraphs you would have. This might eliminate some of the "saying/meaning" the same thing as expressed in the original letter.

Many may be able to use something like this for their own use.