The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Great story, and you make a marvelous point about how easy it is to become an expert at something "when you just love doing it." Good food for thought.
I liked your beginning verse. It added to the whole story.

The conversation flowed well.

The computer problem fix sounded like what we had to do to the old games we used to play. a little moisture was needed to get a good connection.

Is "printout" one word or should it be print out?
Cute. A lesson surprisingly learned!
Good work on this piece. It flowed very well as a story and a valuable lesson we all need to hear. Keep writing.
This is a charming story. I think you did a nice job of building the characters. You also did a nice job of introducing the conflict. Sometimes when adults write kids' stories they tend to have an adult resolve the conflict, but you had a kid do it, and the comment about practicing came from a kid too. That is a great resolution.

I did notice you used the word expert quite a bit, but you really didn't need to because the topic was woven throughout the entire story. Perhaps instead of expert, you could have used paleontologist and IT manager or even computer geek, though some may think that derogatory and you'd want to avoid that. I'm married to a computer geek, and use the term witness love.

You did nail the topic and have a wonderful knack at storytelling. I loved the characters and did a fantastic job of using dialog and vivid descriptions to move the story alone.
Congratulations on ranking 9th in your level! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards)
During the break in the Weekly Challenge schedule, I’d like to invite you to the FaithWriters forums, where I’m holding a weekly free “class” in various writing strategies. Participation is strictly voluntary, but I give free and timely feedback on all contributions. I’d love to have you drop by!