The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Oooh, that was some good suspense in there. I was hoping it wasn't anything dangerous. How funny that it was the pet gerbil. You have some greally good details in here and I like the way your message tied in with your title.

It's a good reminder to remember that God did not give us the spirit of fear. Great job.

Just a tip--some extra spaces (like how I'm doing in this comment) would make for easier reading. Otherwise, good job! Thanks for sharing.
Oh this is fantastic! You have a delightful subtle sense of humor. You may want to consider breaking a piece like this into several smaller paragraphs so to not overwhelm the reader. Also, I've had hamsters in a hamster ball so I understood why a little gerbil could make such a racket, but some may not have gotten that the plastic and fur you described was a gerbil inside a ball cage. Those are tiny details though, and overall you did a spectacular job of building the suspense. My heart was thumping as I read (a bonus on the take on the topic :) This was a fabulous read from beginning to end.
I simply loved this from the first paragraph to the very last. Excellent piece, thank you for this.

God bless~
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