The Official Writing Challenge
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This is a great story. You do a nice job of building the suspense. There is nothing worse than waking up and finding out your kids aren't where they should be.

Be careful with the quotation marks. You may want to double check the rules on them as they can be hard to remember. If the same person is speaking, there is no end quote at the end of the paragraph, but a beginning quotation mark at the start of the new paragraph.

Another thing that I struggle with is POV shift. Lori seemed to be the MC so that means the reader can only know, see, hear, and think what she knows. So when you went into the background of the mom and dad, that is what is called a POV shift. it's not easy to do in only 750 words, but perhaps you could have used dialog to show that background. For example the mom could have said something like: "Oh Lori, I already lost my newborn. That stress broke up our marriage and now I might lose the twins too!"

Overall, though, you did an excellent job of coming up with an exciting story that was on topic. You also had an important message in there as well. Having the kids realize they needed to pray was fantastic. I enjoy stories where kids resolve the conflict and though they did the wrong thing, they figured out the best solution was to pray. Nicely done.
Good suspense in here for sure. So glad it worked out in the end. Nicely done.
Wow -this was intensely suspenseful...It kept me wondering and couldn't wait to see how it turned out! nicely done.

God bless~