The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You did a really nice job on this story. I could picture the MC and the little girl. How wonderful when we are humbled by children. They can teach us so much. The only thing I didn't get was the remark about the lip gloss frying an egg, but other than my tired brain not getting that one bit I think you did a great job on this. Your message comes through loud and clear. Actually, you did such a nice job of showing your message in your story that I don't think you even needed that last paragraph.
I agree with Shann...this was a beautiful story that brings an important message to the forefront. I too, didn't get the "gloss to fry an egg" either. But, it didn't detract from this rich story.

God bless~