The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Great message. If you leave a double space between paragraphs, this would be easier to read.
Beautiful and prolific messages in this enjoyable read. Thanks.

God bless~
I really loved this creative piece. I think it's a great way to explain The Trinity to kids or new believers.

I would suggest that you use quotation marks and possibly add some action to show who is speaking. Ex: Jesus wiped a tear from his eye. "It hurts my heart when they disobey." Also make sure you start a new paragraph each time someone different speaks, even if it's just one word. If you double space between the paragraph it will give the reader more white space.

Your story is definitely a fresh and unique take on the topic. I think you did a nice job of drawing the reader in and keeping my attention right to the very end.
The title caught my attention and your article delivered the explanation. I agree with the above comments. Nice devotional thoughts.