Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Note (02/07/13)
TITLE: The Orchestra Of Life
By Debbie Rutter
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I have journeyed through this life for more than fifty years, searching for myself, my identity. I have wanted to become the best person that God had created me to be and continually I fell short of my own expectation. We can be our harshest judge!
I gathered all my learnt information about what I should look like, what I should be doing, how I should be acting and what society expected me to be because of the family I hale from and the community in which I lived. That information was overwhelming and, to me, I became a bitter disappointment. How dare I make mistakes! How could I allow myself to mess up and be misled! What on earth had I been thinking! Throughout all this turmoil I knew my mum loved me and yet she felt helpless in the wake of my depression and my mental image of myself.
I hobbled through life, stumbling along the road but it wasn’t until I found myself in the pit of despair that I looked into the eyes of me. There, in that place and time I found myself, unavoidably peering into my very soul, the make-up of who I truly am. There I experienced the depth of God’s love, there I began to climb from whence I had fallen.
Within my frail human form I found the precious Gift of the Holy Spirit and began to grow from a stagnant, withering shell. This gift that awakened me into a rebirth, into a complete surrender, into acknowledgment of my erroneous way and a love so profound that my internal hug exploded my heart, as a dessert flower leaps open to welcome the precious life-giving rain. Here I found the face of Jesus.
My journey continues and I rejoice in the roots of my human life and the paths that I have followed because it has given me the insight of struggle, to recognize the face of Jesus embedded in faces and tears that blend into my own path. Without my journey my compassion would be slighter and life’s challenges would be less wealthy. It is here, in this place that I can identify with the orchestra of life, where the music becomes sweeter with the harmony of many instruments, musicians of many talents and notes that enables my heartbeat to dance and my thoughts to see beyond today.
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