The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Oooh, I like this a lot--what a unique and creative POV! There are a few past tense / present tense issues to clear up, but the story itself is remarkable. Thanks so much!
THis was a great way of telling the story!!
This is one of the finest pieces of Biblical fiction I've read in a long time. I absolutely love the concept!
I liked this... Well done!
This is my favorite so far. Excellent!
This had me glued to the screen!!! Great job!!!
Wow. Well done!
It all happened so fast, Dan.
But you are a credit to writing in 1st person. :)
Well done!
An awesome take on a favorite story of mine, Dan. Beautifully told and a blessing to read. Congratulations on your win, and may God continue to bless your writing.
Dan, as everyone has said, this was such a creative telling of such a familiar piece of scripture.You brought it to life in a whole new way - you have a gift for getting into the character and I really encourage you to continue developing and honing that skill.

I'm in the process of editing the latest FaithWriters' Anthology (in which this story will be appearing), and need a couple of things from you.

The first thing is a three to four sentence biography note to include in the book. It needs to be written in the third person, and I know that most of us hate writing these things. If you need some ideas to get you going, have a look at FaithWriters' Magazine ( and check out the bio notes at the end of any of the articles. That may help.

When you've finished writing your bio note, just send it to me as a Private Message. I'll also need your email address when you send the PM, as I need to send you a copy of the edited version of your story. I only do this when the editing is a little more than just a typo correction here and there.

As Jan mentioned in her comment (the first in the feedback box), the one problem was the tense. Because of the way you started it, you couldn't then jump to something that happened two days later. So I needed to edit everything so that it was all past tense, except for the final part. That's why I want to make sure you have a copy for your information.

Anyway, it's a wonderful story. Like I said, you brought the scene to life in a very real way. Well done.

With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator and Editor, FaithWriters' Magazine)