The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is a powerful story. It brought tears to my eyes and really tugged at my heart. Human trafficking is a real problem and I admire you for writing about such a difficult subject. You did a nice job of bringing in the topic so it was a central part of your story. The repetition of I never want to leave this Park was done just right. Nice job.
I like your use of the word "undulates." That has powerful connotations.

This feels like it is just the prologue for a much longer story.
You have managed to share your feeling of pleasure being close to and in the park. There is nothing like freedom, but you have contrasted well your former life in an arid state and now in a fertile, green area, life is just more meaningful and your repetition of liking the park gives a lot of meaning to your story.